Father's Day Service - Why Men Need to Man Up

Understanding How Men Are Called To Be Spiritual Leaders

James Greer
Jun 20, 2021    30m
Join us this Father's Day as Pastor James walks us through how men are called to the head of their households and what that means. Men are to lead their families in natural and spiritual matters. Be the leader God has called you to be. Video recorded at Pineville, Louisiana.

messageRegarding Grammar:

This is a transcription of the sermon. People speak differently than they write, and there are common colloquialisms in this transcript that sound good when spoken, and look like bad grammar when written.

James Greer: [00:00:01] Well, good morning. And good morning online. Happy Father's Day. Amen? Let's hear it for all the fathers. I mean, you know, Luke 11:28, I'd like to read it before we get started. It says, Jesus replied, But even more blessed are all who hear the Word of God and put it into practice. Man, I think every Sunday morning, I think, man, do you know [inaudible] with additional blessing if you hear the Word and you'll put it into practice. Amen? Man, you know, and on Father's Day, one of the things I want you to know, just relax. There's no perfect father in here. The only perfect Father's in Heaven, but you have access to Him. Dads, you know what the truth is? You're your son's first hero, your daughter's first love. That's why it's so important to be the father and the dad that God called you to be. I'm super proud of all my kids, physical kids and spiritual kids alike. When I was younger, I thought, you know, being a real man meant being the physically strongest. And of course, now I know the real man is the spiritually strong. What a change. What a difference that makes. And men, if we can learn that and I hope we do today, I hope at the end that we learn what it means to be the spiritual leader. So many men don't understand, so many of them don't even try because they're almost intimidated by what that means. I've been trying to teach you that lasting relationships are built on truth and trust. That's what marriages are built on. God's Word, you know, it will last. It's truth and you can trust it. I told you that 1 Corinthians 14:33 said, God's not the author of confusion, but a peace.

James Greer: [00:01:54] God does not want your marriage to be in chaos but calmness. Trust can be a feeling. I always tell people, don't make your decisions based on feeling. But this is a feeling that's based on a repeated action over a long period of time. Trust can be a feeling only if it's based on a repeated action over a long period of time. Behavior over time leads to trust and truth. Behavior over a long period of time can lead you to trust and truth. It tells you, can I really trust them? That's why peace is a relationship, it's relational, not circumstantial. So you got to have trust, you've got to have truth, and it comes out as behavior. That's why Romans 12:2 says, be not conformed to this world, be transformed. When you're transformed, you have a behavioral change. Men need to learn to man up and to stand up and learn when to stand up and they need to learn when to shut up. Amen? And we're going to learn today that you need to stand up and shut up. There's a slang word for it. Y'all ready, men? You need to really learn to grow a pair. Amen? Every man has a boy inside that he needs to come to a point, he tells the boy to sit down and the man and stand up. If you don't, that boy, his toys get bigger and bigger and it's more expensive and expensive, right? Genesis 3:6 says, Eve also gave her husband Adam and he ate.

James Greer: [00:03:39] I often preach that this is the order. God first and our mate second. Amen? Well, that can be true and it can be not true. That doesn’t mean God first and our wives second if it goes against what God tells us to do. It's God's first and our wives second as long as it lines up with God's Word. It's just like, ladies, I say, you know, you respect your husbands. Amen? Submit to them. Amen? Only if it lines up with God's Word. God's always first in every relationship. Amen, Brother James. That's why I say, you know, you can't really win at life if you're always losing in relationships. And you can't really lose a life if you have great relationships. That's why all relationships that win are built upon the Lord. Psalms 127:1 says, unless the Lord, capital LORD, built the house, your labor’s in vain. It means He's the ultimate authority. He's the one who’s in control. He is all powerful. He's the Lord over all the armies. 2 Chronicles 26:5, as long as he, you, me, man, woman, boy, and girl sought the Lord, God made them to prosper. So God said, the keys to successful manhood is building your house upon the Lord by continuing thinking God who will cause you to prosper. That's real manhood. I think today most people don't know what manhood, I tried to find a TV show that had a man being a man. I can't find one. I don't care if it's a detective show, I don’t care if it’s country and western. There’s no men. No wonder we're so messed up.

James Greer: [00:05:15] It’s the women. Y'all lead everything. Y'all beat all the men up. You arrest all the men. Y’all do everything. Tough. But we need some men. Amen? I mean, in Genesis, in Genesis. Okay. Y’all heard, the key to manhood is building your house upon the Lord by continuing seeking God which will cause you to prosper. We don't see much of that today. We don't even know what manhood is. Genesis 3:6 says, and so when the woman saw that the tree was good, it was good for food, that it was pleasant for the eye, and the tree was desirable to make one wise, she took the fruit. That's one thing, what you do, man. But she gave it her wimpy husband. He ate it too. That's where the problem comes in. Where was her husband? Right by her side. That sounds good. That's why I always say God first, your wife second. Well, not always. He wasn't an absent husband. He wasn't ugly. He wasn't mean. He provided for her. Man, they had the Garden of Eden. They had the best food possible. He loved his wife. He may not loved her for the right reason. Adam was not absent. He wasn't mean. What was the problem? He needed to learn to stand up and when to shut up. His wife asked him to eat from the tree. He needed to say, I'm not going to eat, baby.

James Greer: [00:06:51] There are some things your wife asks you to do that you don't do. Men, you simply need to learn to grow up. You need to learn when to stand up, when to shut up. Let me show you. If you're going to have a relationship with anybody, that's what you got to do. Let me show you when you need to stand up. And she gave her husband and he ate. That's when he needed to stand up. He needed to say, honey, I love you, but I'm not doing it. God told us not to do it. I'm just not doing it. Amen? So, men, no matter who it is, doesn't matter if it's your wife, your best friend, whatever, if you know it's going against God's Word, that's when you need to learn to stand up. Amen? I used to go out with some guys sometimes and I tell them we're going to be late. I'm going to call my wife. I had one time they all started laughing. Oh, you got to call your wife. Yeah, I don’t have to call my wife. I want to call my wife. Don't let them intimidate you because you want to call your wife, you want to let her know where you're at, you don't want to be late. Amen? I don't have to. I get to call my wife. I'm glad she cares where I’m at. Amen? You're the one that better worry because your wife doesn't care where you're at. You're the one that better worry. Not me, buddy. And then there's times, Adam should’ve shut up. Later on, after they had already eaten, which he shouldn't have done in the first place, in Genesis 3:11, it says, and He said, God said, who told you you were naked? Hmm. Have you eaten from the tree which I commanded you? See, Adam knew he shouldn't have done it. God had commanded him, you should not eat. Well, the man said. That poor little woman.

James Greer: [00:08:39] Men still do that, wimpy men. It was the woman. Then he blamed the woman and God that you gave me, God. You gave her to me. You gave the tree. Now, he should’ve just shut up. There are sometimes you're better off just shutting your mouth, man. Amen? Now here's God. This is God talking to him. Who does he blamed? He blamed his wife. Blamed God. Men, you gotta learn when to shut up and when to stand up. Amen? Until you learn that you'll never have the right with God, you'll never have the right relationship with your mate. Who did God hold responsible for the first sin? Adam. But you said, Eve took it and gave it to him. She sure did. But he had already commanded Adam not to do it. See, even, men, listen, even if you don't do what God called you do, even if you don't do it what He calls you to do in your life, in your marriage, in your family, even if you're not [inaudible] God’ still going to hold you accountable. See, God held Adam accountable, not Eve. See, you say, well, I don't want confrontation. You're going to have confrontation, man.

James Greer: [00:09:47] You’re gonna have confrontation in your family, you've gonna have confrontation with your mate, you’re gonna have confrontation with your boss. You're going to have confrontation. Amen? If you don't, you're going to blow up one day because it's got to come out sometime. So it just depends. You know? You're gonna face God one day or you're gonna face your wife. You might as well face your wife. Amen? Some of y’all are more scared of your wife than you are God. You stand up, grow up, shut up. Preach it, Brother James. Some of your wives saying, I wish he’d shut up. And some of the men are saying, I wish I could stand up. Anyway, anyway. What does it even mean to be the spiritual head of the family? I mean it's not what everybody, it doesn't mean you got to pay all the bills, you got to be the teacher, you got to be the preacher. That's not what all it means. That's not what it means. Ephesians 5:23 tells us, for the husband is the head of the wife. You're the head even when you act like the tail. That was funny. You’re the head of the wife as also Christ is the head of the church and He is the savior of the body. Mae, whether you're married or not, see, [inaudible]. Christ. Doesn’t matter if you're married or not. Christ is the head. If you can't lead yourself, you can't lead your wife. If you can't lead yourself, you'll gonna be in trouble. 1 Corinthians 11:3, it is what it is, but I want you to know something. Men, women, boys, and girls, I want you to know something. The head of every man is Christ. Hey, men, you got a boss, you got an authority, you got a leader, you got a supreme. He's always right. And His name is Christ. Amen? He's your head. He's your authority. He's the all-powerful one. He's the one who’s over all the armies in the world. It's great to have that authority. Amen? Nan not only is He the head, He's with you, He’s for you.

James Greer: [00:11:44] The head of every woman is the man. And the head of Christ is God. God said, listen, I always have a creator of order. If you find the creator of order, you won't have so much disorder. When you don't have God's created order, you have disorder. See, men, you gonna be the head, it doesn't matter because God says so even when you act like you're the tail. So what does this mean? It simply means, you ready? For the man of the family, it just simply means you take initiative to be the spiritual leader. That's all. Initiative. It doesn't mean you do everything. My goodness, if your wife's better at paying the bills than you are, let her pay the bills. Amen? When you pay the bills, you spend too much and you shouldn’t do it. Or whoever is the best at doing that, let them do it. Amen? Ephesians 5:33 says, this is really, nevertheless, it kind of sums it up, lest each one of you in particular so love his wife. Okay, men, what are you supposed to do? Love your wife as yourself. You know, that's a lot because you're selfish. So love your wife. Let every wife, that she respects her husband. Did you know that you could just cure 90% of relationship problems if men, if you’d just love your wives and wives, you just respect your husbands. That’s it. That’s all it’d take. It means love them. Men, we're so fortunate. We have so many examples of that. Janet Fuqua just went to be with the Lord. I see Curtis back here. But, you know, Tony lived that out. He lived out loving the Lord and loving her to the end. And at the end, more than any other time, she would respect him. She called him in and said, would you pray with me? Would you pray for me? They lived it out. It means to love them in a way that they respect you.

James Greer: [00:13:40] Do whatever it takes to protect her. Sometimes, you ready? That means they saying no. Adam loved his wife. I tell you he loved her. I think one of the reasons that he wouldn't say no is because he's afraid he’d lose her. He knew what it was like not to have a wife. He was in the garden. He was by himself. He had all the animals. He had a relationship with God. But he didn't have a wife. God Himself said, it's not that man to be alone. And he knew that he shouldn't do it, but he was afraid. What if I don't do it? I might lose my wife. And what he did instead, it's worse. He lost his relationship with God. God loved him so much. No matter what you do, God went after him. And no matter what you do in life, God's going to go after you to pursue that relationship. But what he should’ve done is try to protect her. See, Adam wasn’t really the spiritual head. His wife was. And there's time that men need to try to protect them if they love them the most. You're supposed to be the stronger vessel in spite of what you see on TV. There may be a time that you tell them, hey, baby, you need to rest. You're pushing too hard at work, the kids. Go and rest. Let me take over some. Maybe we don't need to buy that new car. Maybe we don't need to buy a bigger house. Maybe we need to stay where we're at because I don't want to be under additional pressure. Maybe you're going too much. You’re pushing it too hard. And just say, hey, let's just because I love you so much, I don't want you to be under so much pressure. I mean you just take the initiative. But you don't do out of demanding. You do it out of love and you do it out of protection and you do it because you want to be the man that God called you to do. Adam shouldn't have allowed her to continue a conversation with the devil I don't think. In Genesis 3:1, listen to this. Now, the serpent, he was more cunning. He was sharp. He still is than any beast of the field which the Lord had made. The Lord didn't make Satan.

James Greer: [00:15:45] He made a beautiful angel that got kicked out of Heaven and became the devil. And he said to the woman, has God indeed said you should not eat of the tree of the garden? And the woman said to the serpent, we may eat of the fruit of the tree of the garden. But the tree of the tree which is in the middle of the garden, God said, you shall not eat it or touch it, lest you die. Then the serpent said the woman, you will not surely die. The start of sin is when you start doubting God's goodness. You start thinking, hey, God's holding out on me. Why is God allowing this? For God knows that the day that you eat, that your eyes are going to be open and you're going to be like God and you’ll know good from evil. So she started thinking, hey, hey, God's holding out on me. Sin is when you think you're smarter than God. Yeah. You say no, I don’t. Yeah, you do. That's what she was doing. She thought she was smarter than God. So when the woman saw that it was good for food and that it was pleasant for the eye and the tree was desirable to make one wise, she took the fruit and she ate it. And she gave it to her husband and he ate also. Men, you know there's some men and some women that you and your wife don't need to be spending a lot of time with. You can't make your wife do anything. But if you're doing the right thing for the right reason and out of love, she learns to respect you because she knows you're trying to protect her. How do you know if you're spending the right time with the right people? Real quick. It's also in your outline so I would look at it later.

James Greer: [00:17:38] Do they motivate me to love God more? Are you around people that motivate you to love God more? If not, they might not be the right people. Hebrews says, encourage one another daily. Second, do they celebrate God's blessings with you? Man, when God's blessing you, they celebrate with you. The whole city celebrates when godly people have success. Do they have your back? Do they hold you accountable? Do they live what they believe? Do they have the right ‘they’ in their life? The Bible said don't be unevenly yoked. But it really means don't be [inaudible] people. Proverbs 18:24 says, a man of many companions will come to ruin. In other words, you can't have too many people in your life. If you have too many people, you can't take care of the right people in your life. Do they have the right ‘they’ in their life? Do they have Jesus in their life? So you got to be careful who's in your life because they're going to influence you. What does it really mean to have your wife respect you? Love is given, respect is earned. Love is given, respect is earned. This is really important, men I've had men my whole ministry say, man, how could I be the spiritual head of my house? Most of them were intimidated by their wives. It has nothing to do with that. It has to do with you and your relationship with God. Number one, have an intimate relationship with Jesus. You say, well, that doesn't have anything to do with my life. Yes, it does. Number one thing if you want to be the spiritual head of your house, you have an intimate relationship with Jesus. She wants to know, you ready?, that you're getting your guidance and direction from God.

James Greer: [00:19:30] Don't be a holy roller. Don't start trying to point out every sin in her life. That doesn't work. Oh, I know people that got saved and then they thought they were so holy, they were telling everybody else was wrong, including their own family. That drives them crazy. You worry about you. Do you have an intimate relationship with Jesus? She knows you're getting your guidance and direction from God. Guess what? All of a sudden, that begins to bring security in her life. I can tell you, there's not a woman alive that does not want security from her husband. And all the women said. I knew y’all would speak then. This is one of the most important things that I can really teach men if you really want to know. It's found in Joshua 1, starts in verse 7. Be strong and very courageous, that you may observe to do according to the law of Moses. Your servant command you. Don't turn it to the right hand or the left, that you may prosper wherever you go. When your wife sees you becoming strong and courageous in the Lord, she’ll began to respect you spiritually. When you begin to be courageous, when you begin to be strong in the Lord, if she's a Christian especially, she's going to begin to respect you. Verse 8 says this, this book in law should not depart from your mouth, but you shall mediate it day and night that you may be observed to do all that is written in it, for then it shall make you way prosperous and you should be a good success. I mean I’m gonna tell you, when she sees, you already?, reading the Word, under the Word, you come to church, you get under to the Word. She didn't have to pull you to come to church. You're ready to go to church. You're taking the initiative. You have kids. He's helping you get the kids ready. You're ready to come to church. You're in the Word. You're under the Word. You're submitting to your spiritual leader. You're taking the initiative.

James Greer: [00:21:31] She starts saying, oh man, there's something going on. She knows that you're in the Word, under the Word, obeying the Word, sharing the Word. She's going to respect you. I tell you, because when you're reading the Word and you’re under the Word, obeying the Word, and sharing the word, guess what? You begin to prosper and be successful in whatever you do. I can tell you your wife likes that. Matter of fact, she likes it. There's no woman in the world that does not want to know that you're getting your security, your courage, making your decisions based upon God and His Word, you have a relationship with God, that you're in the Word, that you want to come to church. And when you come to church, you're not just sitting there saying, hey, what time is it till we go? But you're taking it in. You're taking notes. You're paying attention. Then you're obeying the Word. You're applying the Word. You go home. You're sharing the Word. I got the bulletin. I'm talking about the Word. And then you start applying it and you start prospering, you start being successful. She's gonna respect you. Matter of fact, you can't stop her from respecting you. Have I not commanded you, God, as man, you be strong, you be courageous. Don't be afraid. Don't be discouraged. The Lord your God is with you wherever you go. My goodness, men, you ought to be the most brave people in the world. Do you know, men, women, boys, and girls, when you're doing what God said, God is with you and God is for you? Amen? My goodness. You get godly strength. My goodness. She's going to respect you. She's gonna love you. She's going to be there. She's gonna follow you. She’s gonna want to, you can't stop a woman from following you when you do that. You start doing all that and you start prospering and you start being successful, she's gonna say, honey, where do you want to go next?

James Greer: [00:23:21] There's not a man in here that cannot be the spiritual leader of their home if they want to because it has more to do with you than it does anybody else. You have to make a decision to get in the Word, get under the Word, obey the Word, and share the Word. That's about as clear as I can be. Do you know if you do all that, the Bible says you'll start prospering and be successful wherever you go? That means on your job, in your home, at church, anywhere and everywhere. Did you know that that's what God wants for you? So as we began to close, men, women, boys, and girls, you got to lead yourself first. You're the one that, you got to start your own relationship with Christ. Did you know it doesn't matter if you're a man or woman? You know what I said? Everybody in here, you need to have a relationship with Christ. And how you do it is you read the Word, you get under the Word, you obey the Word, and you share the Word. Men, women, boys, and girls. Some of y'all, God’s convicting and saying, man, I need to start doing. I need to make a commitment to do that right now today. Man, you can read the Word, you can do a devotion, you can listen to it, or you can go to JamesWGreer.com. We got all kinds of free books. You can read a book in the Bible. But do something. Amen? Make a commitment. I’m gonna be at church every single Sunday apart from vacation and emergencies. Amen? Men, you start taking the initiative. Quit dragging butt. Get up and go. Amen? Grow something. I mean it. Lead yourself. You be the leader. Lead yourself in a relationship with Christ. You got to lead yourself before you can ever leading anybody else. Have a daily Bible study, devotion of some type, come to church, be in the Word, be involved, serve, be inga group. Second, learn when to stand up and learn when to shut up. That builds relationship.

James Greer: [00:25:32] I'm going to give you three simple ways to learn to shut up and when to stand up and how to stop a lot of arguments. Really important. Is this really going to matter in eternity before you start fighting over it? Is it going to matter in eternity? Number one. Is this a biblical conviction or is it a personal one? Why make a big deal? Sometimes just something personal, not even a biblical conviction, and you fight day and night over it. So number one, is it going to matter in eternity? Yes or no? Is this a biblical conviction or personal one? And do we really need to even agree on this? There's some things that we cannot agree on and still love each other. Amen? So just simply ask you those three things. Because see, when you start growing in the Lord, God says there's an outpouring of something. It’s called being filled with the Holy Spirit. It begins to produce some fruit and it's in you and you get to use it. Things like love, joy, peace, long-sufferingness, gentleness, faith, meekness, temperance. There's no law against that. That's what God wants in every home. He's growing it. You've got to water it through the Word and you can have it. See, I don't want that just for fathers though I do want it for fathers because I think that many times the home is a reflection of the fathers. But I want it for everybody here. And I believe that you heard the Word.

James Greer: [00:27:20] I believe if you're willing to practice it today that you can be blessed by it. Would you stand and let me pray for you? God, I thank you for your Word. It’s so powerful. It's so plain. God, if there's somebody in here that doesn't know you as their personal savior, if they're not sure they’d go to Heaven, that's where they lead. Christ is the head. That they commit their life to Jesus Christ. If there's men, women, boys, and girls that said, man, I need an intimate relationship with Jesus Christ, I just didn't really know what that meant. It means that you do your part continuously and God will always do His. You get in the Word every day. Sometimes that's 10 minutes, sometimes that’s an hour. But you just do it every day. You lead yourself and then let Christ lead you. You get under the Word. You come to church every time the doors open and you take the Word in, you take notes, you get insights. You get under the spiritual leaders that are there. Get in the Word, you get under the Word. You get something every time you're unaware that you can obey the Word, that you're going to apply it to your life. Not legalistic, not that you have to do it. Because you get to do it. So you’re in the Word, you're under the Word, you're obeying the Word. Share the Word. Share it with your mate. Share it with your kid. Share an insight that you got today with somebody. If you're married, share it with your mate. Share it today sometimes. And you’ll begin to have a closer walk with God and a closer walk with each other. And God, I pray that you begin to enjoy the fruits of the love and the joy and peace. God, maybe there’s somebody that wants to join the church today. They've been putting it off. Today is a wonderful day, Father's Day. You could take your next step card and you can check it there or you could come to the front. Maybe you want to follow through in baptism. We got a bunch of those next service that we're going to do that. You can do it today or you can do it next week. Maybe you just need somebody to pray with you and pray for you. Whatever God's laid upon your heart, I pray to you’d let God have His will and His way. It's in the name of Jesus I pray. Amen.

Bruce Goulart: [00:29:40] On behalf of Pastor James, I want to say thank you for tuning in to our online experience today. Man, what an amazing message today about Father's Day. So I just want to say Happy Father's Day to all the fathers out there and Happy Father's Day to my dad that is at home right now and relaxing and recovering from his surgery. So I want to say Happy Father's Day. And if you need someone to pray with you right now, we have people on standby who are willing to pray with you. There should be a link down in the description that you click on, fill out, and someone will get with you right away. Also, we have an amazing website, JamesWGreer.com where you can go find multiple resources to help you with anything that you might be struggling through right now. So I just wanna say thank you again for joining our online experience and I hope to see y’all next week.

Recorded in Pineville, Louisiana.
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Journey Church
2900 Donahue Ferry Rd
Pineville, Louisiana 71360