What Is The Difference Between Fake And Real Relationships?

James Greer: [00:00:00] Now the title of the series is Fooling Around. And what happens is we want you to learn the difference between fake relationships and true are God's favor on a relationship. Now, we got some things up here. These are Michael Jordan tennis shoes. This is a Rolex watch. Yeah. These are Rayban glasses. Now, I bet y'all I don't know which are true. And then this jacket, I don't know if y'all know it. But I have another one like this. Did you know that Whites and Gold Rings has these jackets for $450? Yeah. Did you know what else? Don't be fooled. I got this one at Wal-Mart for $25. Y'all wouldn't have known the difference, though. How many y'all think these are the real thing? How many got fooled? How many of you think these are real thing? They are the real thing. Now, how many think this is Rolex watch? It's not mine, but it does. How many of y'all think this is a real Rolex watch? It's real. Y'all got fooled again. How many y'all think these are Rayban sunglasses? How many y'all think these are the real thing? How come y'all all got that right? These are Ironman.

James Greer: [00:01:47] But it's okay to be fooled in some things, but it's not okay to be fooled in your relationships. Amen. So I'm going to give you a few verses on knowing what love is, because love is the very basis of the right relationship. And there's a key verse that you'll hear. And in 1 Corinthians 13:8, it says, Love never fails. So when you have true love, it never fails. There's a verse in 1 John 4:18. It says, There is no fear in love because perfect love casts out fear. We love him because he first loved us. So when you're really in love, you don't run around in fear. There's another verse in 2 John 1:3 that says this. Grace, mercy, and peace, which come from God the Father and from Jesus Christ. Where does grace, mercy, and peace come from? God the Father and from Jesus Christ. The Son of the Father will continue to be with us who live in truth and love. Let me give you a free insight. In other words, if you've got love, you have to get it from the Father. See, you can't have true love unless you get it from the Father. You ready?

James Greer: [00:03:02] Are you ready? And you can't get to the Father unless you go through Jesus Christ. So you don't have true love unless you go through Jesus and you access the Father. And John 15:13 says, greater love that no man has in this than to lay down one's life for his friends. And Jesus did that for you. So if you don't have Jesus, you don't have true love. So if you're here today, guess what? The most important thing you could do is leave with Jesus. Amen. So we want you to find God's favor instead of a fake relationship, because then you'll have a love that never fails. See, when you know the truth about relationships, you won't be easily fooled by the knockoffs. I thought it was funny y'all thought that was a knockoff. But anyway, before you can really find God's favor in a relationship, and when I say relationship, most of this will apply to any relationship, but especially the marriage relationships. But it applies to all relationships. Because you got to know what a fake relationship is. There's several times fake love in a relationship could be often called infatuation. Sometimes fake love is called lust. Many relationships start out with infatuation and turn into love. That's okay. But infatuation can be a fake love that's fatal.

James Greer: [00:04:28] In fact, I believe that most relationships start out with some infatuations. But when you take a fake relationship or knockoff, it's never as good as the real thing. There used to be a song that's nothing like the real thing, baby. But I was in my staff meeting and I told her, I said, Man, y'all know that song, There's nothing like the real thing, baby. Not one of them knew it. That wasn't funny. The problem is many married people and non-married people don't realize what the problem is in the relationship. And when you don't realize what the problem is in the relationship, you can't work on it. So what you'll do is you'll go from one relationship to the next relationship and you have the same problem, but you don't know what it is. And many times it's an infatuation. And it starts out with infatuation. It's strong. And then when you don't have the infatuation, you think you fell out of love. But see, true love never fails. You fall out of cars if you open the wrong door. You can fall out of a tree if you're not careful. But you don't fall in and out of love because love never fails. But I believe if both are Christians and you want to fix your relationship, I believe every single couple or every single person that's in a relationship can have a fantastic future. But if you're not faked by the knockoffs. Whether it's shoes or bags or sunglasses or watches, you can be fooled by it.

James Greer: [00:06:09] I don't want you to end up with a fake relationship. Some of you are in fake relationships now, and you need to stop the bleeding in that relationship and start the blessings. Because when you're in a relationship that bleeds, what you do is you bleed all over the people that are closest to you. You bleed all over the people that are trying to help you the most. So first of all, I want to talk about the fake relationship of infatuation. Infatuation, you tend to tend to idealize the person that you're with. You're wrapped up in a shallow understanding of who they are. It can bring you together, but it doesn't keep you together. Infatuation is this weird in-between phase between lust and love. Most people should experience some infatuation in the first stages of their relationship. And then kicks in real life. When real life kicks in, that's when you got to say, Hey, I want to stay. I want to push it in and make it happen or not. A lot of people call it puppy love. It's that tingling stage. It's when your endorphins are on high. It's like when when I used to call Debby, and we could just listen to each other on the phone. I said, Oh, you breathe so good. Oh, we don't really do that now. She still breathes good, but not on the phone.

James Greer: [00:07:34] But anyway, anyway, she's not here today. The truth, the problem is, if you don't understand infatuation, this stage, it only lasts sometimes four months and maybe a year. And people that don't ask, they don't know what the real thing is, what happens is, when the infatuation is gone, they think they're out of love. And so they get into another relationship. And in six months to a year, the infatuation is gone and they say, I just don't love them like I used to. No, no, you don't. Because infatuation, endorphins, they only last between six months and a year. And then the real work begins. See if you're going to be in love and stay in love, it's work. And you've got to understand that it's very important. Don't make major decisions during the infatuation stage. Because when the infatuation stage is over, woo, the work begins. And a lot of things that really attracted you in the infatuation stage when it's over will really irritate you. All right. Let's talk about the love stage. I mean, love stage, really romantic stage, there's really three components. There's attraction, caring, and intimacy. First of all, attraction, romantic love. You know, if you're going to have a love relationship, they need to attract you a little bit. If not, that's when people say, well, you know, he's sweet.

James Greer: [00:09:05] How did the date go? Well, she's sweet. That means they weren't attractive, but they were sweet. Now it's okay. [inaudible] sweet people. Amen. You just don't want to marry them. They just want to be your friends. But you do need some kind of attraction to them. That's part of a long-lasting love. Then there's the caring stage versus the unselfish state. When you care for them, you want the best for the other person. You got to learn that marriage or any relationship, it's not all about you. Guess what? You're not going to believe it. I love that y'all come to church because I love to preach. But did you know what? Church is not all about you. The sooner you learn that, the better you're going to enjoy it. Amen. And so it's just fantastic. So when you think it's all about you, it's either too cold, it's too hot, the music's too loud, it's too low. Preacher preaches too long. He don't preach enough. Holy Moses. I mean, when it's all about you, you think it's all about you. You go home. Guess what? It's the same thing in your house. You think your wife's all about you. You think the house is all about you. The kids is all about you. The lights are too bright. It's too cold. It's too hot. You just can't be happy. Poor, poor your mate. So you've got to have a caring stage. Caring stage cares for the person physically, emotionally, and spiritually, the whole person.

James Greer: [00:10:31] Then you have to have that intimacy stage. But the truth about the intimate stage is you share personal and private like nobody else. Not with anybody else. It's the deepest feelings and thoughts that you have. In Genesis 2:22, it talks about, then the rib, which the Lord God had taken from man. That's why if you ever say they're a pain, that's why. Not really. He made into a woman and he brought her to the man. And Adam said, This is now bone of my bone and flesh of my flesh. We shall call her woman. I guarantee you. He didn't say it like that. Can you imagine when he brought that naked woman to him? He had never seen one. I bet he said, God, you are the man. And all the men said. Because she was taken out of man. But then it goes on. That isn't all of it says. It goes on. Therefore, the man shall leave his father and mother. You hear that, men? And shall be joined to his wife. And they shall become one flesh. If you're not married, Hey, you don't get married till you can take care of your wife and you don't depend on somebody else. And they were both, what? Naked. Yeah. And the man and his wife, they were not ashamed. They had this unbelievable intimacy together, complete openness together. They trusted each other. And the trust is built on. It's proven over time. And real intimacy includes trust, openness, and honesty. And you really need to have this personal intimacy before you can have this unbelievable, great physical intimacy.

James Greer: [00:12:26] And sure, marriage sex is, intimacy is part of it. Absolutely. In fact, the Bible says, for this reason, man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife. They become one flesh. This is a great mystery. But I speak concerning Christ in the church. He's talking about marriage and he's talking about a great mystery. Nevertheless, let each one of you in particular so love his own wife as himself and let the wife see that she respects her husband. He kind of summarizes a marriage all at once. He said, Ladies, you want to know what your main, what you should really do if you want your husband happy? Just respect him. Men are crazy. All's you got to do is respect him and he'll think, Oh, she loves me so much. They want respect. They got this unbelievable, crazy ego. And when you respect them, they think they're doing something great. They'll do anything in the world. I mean, Debbie's got that down. Anytime she wants, she's telling me how good I'm doing. I said, What do you want, baby?

James Greer: [00:13:27] And then, men, we're supposed to love our wives like Christ loved the church. And men, they're not that sharp. Men, that means we're supposed to be willing to give our lives for our wives. We're supposed to put them before ourselves. And that's what he said. But he said when that really happens, when women really respect their husbands and let men really love their wives, the Bible said, it was a great mystery. The great mystery is a marriage relationship that's operating right is a physical picture of a spiritual application and relationship with Christ. When you see them operating correctly, you say, Oh man, they got such a relationship. Christ is good. I want you to have that kind of relationship with me. And that's the mystery.

James Greer: [00:14:19] But see, real relationships are built on love, lasting relationships. And the Bible says in 1 Corinthians 13, it tells you what it is. It says, love is patient. Love is kind. And what that means is when you really love each other, you begin to recognize the needs of the other person even before they ask. You just know them so well. I mean, me and Debbie can look each other. Sometimes we say the same words or we say, I was thinking the same thing. Love is not jealous. It does not brag. It's not proud. It's not rude. It's not selfish. Lust is often selfish, and the main focus is sex. Nothing wrong with sex. Amen. But if you're married, you should be enjoying sex. If you're married and you're not, man or woman, go to the doctor or JD. Go to JD for counseling. And JD said. I knew you'd come alive then. But it's okay. Now, if you're not married, you might be having sex, but you don't have the real thing, baby.

James Greer: [00:15:35] Because Bible says in Hebrews 13:4, it says Honor marriage and guard sacredly the sexual intimacy between wife and husband. God draws a firm line against illicit sex. In other words, it says, Hey, when you're married, that's the real thing. And when you have the real thing already, you don't need to fake things. That's what he's telling you. If you go on in 1 Corinthians 13:4, it says, Love does not get upset with the other person. Now, you know that if you've been married very long, you get upset. I get upset. You get upset. We all get upset. What it means is you don't stay upset. If you're married or even if you're in a relationship, learn to forgive as fast as you can. And your relationship with Christ, when you sin and we all still sin, ask him to forgive you as soon as you can and get right back in fellowship. So do it quick. Love does not count the wrongs that you've done. Don't start keeping score in your relationship. They'll say, Hey, you did this and I did that, and I can't believe you did it more times than I did it. Don't keep up. Listen, when you're married, you better start living for the future and stop counting in the past. Love is not happy over evil, but happy of the truth. Love is patient and accepts all things. It's always trust, always hopes, always remains strong. Love never ends.

James Greer: [00:17:04] So first of all, we talked about infatuation. We know what that is. We talked about what love is. And then we got to talk about the fake lust. See, if you don't know the truth about what love is, you'll get one of the knockoffs. Many people never have seen or never experienced biblical love. And so they're fooled by the fake or the knockoff. And so what they're doing, they're living in lust and infatuation. And what will happen is, maybe you get saved, maybe you came to church, or maybe today you accept Christ and you want to start having a biblical. Love is patient. Love is kind. I say, I'd like to start, but you've never done that. So when you start doing it, at first, it can be uncomfortable. Say maybe you grew up in a family that fought all the time or argued all the time and you always had problems and now you're trying to change that. Maybe you're trying to have peace, you're trying to have love, you're trying to have a joy and you're trying to do that. But at first, that's not comfortable with you. And because it's not comfortable with you, if you're not careful. Are you listening? Are you listening?

James Greer: [00:18:14] If you're not careful, you'll go back to your lifestyle because that was comfortable, even though it's wrong. The children of Israel when God delivered them from bondage, when they got delivered and they were on the way to the Promised Land, instead of going into the Promised Land, they started complaining and said, Let us go back into bondage because they had gotten so used to living in bondage instead of going forward to the Promised Land. They wanted to go back into bondage. If you're not careful, even your relationship, God wants to transform you radically. He wants you to know what love, joy, and peace is. But if you've never had it, if you're not careful, you'll go back. Let me tell you some differences between love and lust. One of the main differences, love sacrifices and does it with joy and love. Lust focuses on being sacrificed for. Love gives. Lust always takes. Mothers and dads, they sacrifice for their kids. If you got a baby, it's sacrifice. But while they doing it, they do it with joy. Parents, you get satisfaction out of sacrificing for your kids. I mean, even at babies, you got to sacrifice. When they get older, you got to give up your time. You've got to go to their games. You got to. You sacrifice, sacrifice, sacrifice. But you're also strangely, you're satisfied.

James Greer: [00:19:50] That's the way love is. That's not the way lust is. Lust is I want you to sacrifice and I get satisfied when you sacrifice for me. It's the opposite. See, lust is all about me. Love is all about you. Lust is easy to spot from the outside looking in. But if you're on the inside, sometimes you're confused, and you think it's love. Lust is mostly about sex and sex driven while love is emotionally, mentally, physically, spiritually. It's about the whole person. The truest example of what love really is can only come from Jesus Christ. Because without Christ, you can't have real love. And the Bible tells us in one of the most famous verses of all in John 3:16. And it said, God so love the world. That's me and you. That he gave his only begotten son, that whosoever. Me, you, anybody here. Believes that he died for your sins should not perish but have everlasting life. By the way, we're going to have everlasting life somewhere. We're going to spend everlasting here, in Heaven or hell. When he says, When you believe that my son died for your sin and rose on the third day, you will spend eternity in Heaven. It says God did not send his son into the world to condemn the world. He does not want you to live in condemnation. I don't care what your past was. I don't care what you did. That's a fake. Jesus Christ is not the fake. He's the real thing. He understands everything you've ever done. And he said, Hey, that's why I died on the cross, is to forgive you and to give you the real thing.

James Greer: [00:21:45] I didn't send my son in the world condemn the world, but that the world through him might be saved. That word means saved, of course, go to Haven. It means to make whole, because there's people that just seems like they're never whole. They're never complete. Because without Christ, you have an emptiness in your life. It means to be healed. Some people have emotional scars that need to be healed, that only Jesus can heal. It means to be delivered. Some people need just deliverance, some from their past, some from their present. It means to be protected where you feel safe. See you really cannot have true love if you don't have Jesus. See, once you have Jesus, God becomes your Father. And when God is your Father, he takes care of his kids. It would be crazy to come to a service like this and not to have Jesus. We can activate the Father. So you can know what true love is. And until you know what true love is, you can't share true love. You'll always have relationship problems. Because true love can only come when you have Christ, and Christ is the only way to access God the Father. So if you would, if you could stand right now and bow your heads, let me talk to you for just a minute.

James Greer: [00:23:15] If you want God's love, true love, where you can have God's love and share God's love and have God in your heart, if you want what we call salvation, which is to make sure that you're going to Heaven, if you want to accept him, you want to get rid of the condemnation because, hey, I got Jesus Christ in my heart. If everybody would bow their head and close their eyes, I'm going to count the three and you get the real thing. I'm gonna ask you just to raise your hand if you want to accept Jesus as your Savior and have the true love in your heart. One, two, three. Just stick your hands up right now. Amen. Just keep them up high. And the counselor is going to give you a packet. And if you would, just fill in the card out and then give it back to them. Just raise your hand if you want to accept Christ in your heart. Amen. Upstairs too. Raise your hand up high if you want Christ in your heart. There you go. It's the most important decision you'll ever make in your life. Amen. In the back too. In the back. So as y'all get the package and you just fill them out and you'll hand the cards back. If you hand your cards back to the counselor when you get through. Because see, that's the most important decision you ever make. Because see, you can't have true love and you can't share true love. So if you want to make sure you accepted Jesus Christ as your Savior. And if they haven't given you a package yet, raise your hand real high and they'll get you one right now. Amen. Amen.

James Greer: [00:25:12] All right, y'all look up here for a minute. Let's give everybody a hand that did that. Amen. We have people all over. First, I want to thank you for making the most important decision in your life. And then I want y'all to just pray with me. Everybody say, Father, I know I've sinned. I want you to forgive me of my sins. Come into my heart. Be the Lord of my life. I believe Jesus died on the cross and rose on third day for my sins. In Jesus' name. Amen. Look up here for just a second. The Bible says whosoever calls upon them, the Lord shall be saved. And when it says call, it just means simply pray and invite them into your heart. And that's what y'all did. So before I close, I'm going to tell you this. We're going to also have an invitation. And maybe it's for those that have never been publicly baptized or maybe it's like me or maybe it's like Melissa that maybe we did it at a young age and it really didn't mean much to us and we feel like God's just tugging us to do that right now. Maybe we were dedicated or maybe we were sprinkled and now we want to do it publicly, like the death, the burial, and resurrection as a brand-new start. And God's just saying, Hey, today's the day. Maybe you want to join the church. Maybe you need somebody just to pray with you and to pray for you. Maybe you're missing that love and joy and peace that comes from the right relationship and fellowship with Christ. Nobody can steal that from you. You have to give it away. So we're going to pray and we're going to let you have that invitation. Bow your heads.

James Greer: [00:26:52] Father, I just love you. I thank you for what you're doing at our church. I thank you for your favor. I thank you for those that accepted Christ God. I pray for those that have come today that are hurting, that have pain. You get it, God. Nobody went through the pain that you did. God, you said all those that labor and heavy laden to come to you and they could find rest. I pray for those that are hurting today, that they would come and they'd let these counselors pray with them and minister to them. I thank you for those that have made decisions, God. I pray that they can feel your power and your presence, that you'd give them a supernatural strength, a supernatural peace right now, that you'd send the right people into their life. For those that need to come and join the church and follow through in baptism, God. Whatever you lay up on their heart, I pray they'd just step out and make the right decision. In the name of the precious Jesus. Amen.


Recorded in Pineville, Louisiana.